Interview with the Vamp…er…husband

Good evening friends!  The time has come.  6 months of talking and planning has all come down to this moment.  Yesterday, marked the start of our first IVF cycle.  I had lab work done and everything came back normal which is great.  Hubby had to have genetic testing done today.  I am a carrier for something called Glycogen Storage Disease Type V.  You can read about it HERE if you so desire.  Anyway, if I am a carrier, Hubby has to be tested and if he is a carrier for the exact same disease and type, we have to add a few extra steps to our process and have any embryos that fertilize, biopsied and sent off to be tested before implantation.  We should have his genetic results back in 2 weeks so stay tuned!  Hubby says I will now find out his superpowers that were supposed to be kept secret.

We start injections at the end of this week. I’ve been working to get our medications here on time which has been a pain (that is a story for later) but everything should be right on schedule.  As it stands right now, our egg retrieval is scheduled for the first week of February and the egg transfer/implantation will ideally be 5 days after the surgery. It’s crazy to think this will all be happening and we will know a result in less than 2 months! So, that’s our basic timeline right now. I will be writing more frequently now that I have experiences to write about.  I would write about how spent my entire day off on hold and being transferred from Pharmacy to Pharmacy but I would probably not say nice things.

thumper

Speaking of Hubby, he so kindly agreed to answer a few questions for me before we officially start our cycle. I hoped to not only hear his answers for questions I’ve been wondering but hopefully grasp a husband’s point of view, which is something not focused on frequently in the infertility world.

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Hubby, my bonus-daughter K, and I this past Christmas!

This past weekend we sat together and discussed our upcoming adventure.  Here was the result. Enjoy!

State your full name please.

No.

Okieeeeeee. What was your first thought when you heard we were being referred to an Reproductive Endocrinologist?

Nervous, I guess. I didn’t know how you were going to handle it.  I was nervous for you.

How did you think I would handle it?

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Overwhelmed, like a shark attacking your head?

I didn’t know. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

After learning about IVF being our best option and the process, what was your initial reaction?

Overwhelmed. The first appointment was like an information dump. It was a lot to take in and figure out.

Have you been open with your guy friends about the last year and upcoming IVF?

Yes.  We talk about the challenges about going through the process.  There are a bunch of unknowns and I kind of play the what-if game sometimes.

We are about to start our first cycle. Do you have any apprehensions?

Nervous because I don’t know how it’s going to go.  The fact we know what the end goal is but we really don’t have any control over any of the results.  It’s going to be really tough on you physically which means you will probably be crabby. (laughs) I mean you are going to be doing all these hormones, it’s going to be tough. It’s going to be exhausting, physically, emotionally.  It’s not going to be easy.

Are you nervous about giving me injections?

No. It wouldn’t be my first time stabbing people. That sounds awful.  Okay, it wouldn’t be the first time I have administered injectionsWhat about the really long needle? Don’t move and I’ll be as quick as I can!

My biggest fear is it not working.  Why?  Because I know how hard that’s going to be for you because I know how bad you want it to happen. There’s always the possibility it won’t work.  Which I mean, even though we discussed alternatives, it is still not going to make it easy.  I think that’s what I’m most nervous about too. I mean it’s just one of those things you have to think about and prepare for, bottom line is that it’s a possibility. Obviously, that’s not what we want to happen.

How will you feel if it doesn’t work?

I mean I’ll be upset. It’s just a big investment for both of us.  More so for you physically but both of us emotionally. We just have a lot riding on it.

Do you think our marriage will struggle or get stronger?

It’s hard to say. I think both.

What I can I do to make it better going through this from a husband’s standpoint?

I don’t know.  The whole thing really is just it would be unreasonable to say don’t be so emotional (laughs) but between the hormones and everything else.  You are more emotional than me anyway but it’s different because it’s not happening to my body.  You know? Like, I’m not going through the physical stuff with my body.  I have to try to be more understanding because I don’t know physically what you are experiencing.

Would it help if I’m communicate more how I’m feeling?

Communication is going to be a big part of it. You can’t shut yourself off.  You are going to have to force yourself to be upfront about what is going on.  I think that will be one of our biggest struggles because you like to shut down when you are having a hard time with stuff.

What did you think about me starting a blog?

I thought it would be a good outlet for you, since there’s not a lot of people that talk openly about their condition and the process.

——

At first, I was upset how much he talked about me and how bad I wanted it. I kept thinking to myself, “Well, doesn’t he want it too?” I struggled with that and then at dinner the following day after visiting a local infertility support group, we talked more.  It was then I realized he is truly worried and concerned about my health and well-being and I should be grateful for that, which I am.  Many women on this journey complain that their significant others are emotionally-absent during this process.  I realize that sometimes people just cope differently.  In our case, Hubby is a protector.  He wants to protect his wife and his family from all harm and will do anything he can to do so.  He said something that will forever put things into perspective.  “If we have a baby and I don’t have you, I have nothing.”

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I would say I’m pretty lucky. Photo Cred: Valerie Kay Co.

 

With that said, I’m going to work hard to communicate how I am feeling, as will he.  I also know that while he may handle things differently, it doesn’t mean he feels differently.

I mentioned the infertility support group.  If you are going through infertility and your search for the last key, I highly recommend locating one and attending.  Just in our first visit, it was relieving to know that I could talk about our journey, ask advice and hear others and lean on them for support.  It meets monthly and we definitely plan on going back.  If you need help finding one, please let me know!

Until next time,

Jackie

 

 

 

 

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