Monday morning, I had my Sonohysterogram (SHG) and Trial Transfer. My clinic requires every 6 months these tests to be completed to ensure there aren’t any abnormalities such as cysts, blocked tubes or fibroids before attempting a cycle. Most patients have what is called a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) where an X-ray and dye are used to fill the uterine cavity and tubes to check for blockages. However, I am allergic to shellfish and most likely could be allergic to the dye used which led me to do doing a SHG instead. An SHG is done using an ultrasound and sterile solution but checks for the same thing. We also did a Trial Transfer, or mock transfer, which basically is the exact same procedure as doing an egg transfer without the actual egg. This is to make sure they can get the catheter carrying the egg to right spot in the uterus with ease.
With the fancy-shmancy words out of the way, let me tell you how this all went down (pun
Look how happy and ignorant I looked…how cute
intended). My appointment wasn’t until 2:30pm so I decided as it was my day off to go have lunch with my mom and then work on drinking water as I was instructed to have a full bladder for the test. Last time I had this test done, I didn’t drink near enough water and the doctor ended up having to place a catheter and filling my bladder for me. I was determined to make sure that wasn’t going to happen again. I had a glass and a half of water at lunch around noon today. Then about 1:00pm, I bought 1 liter of water to work on before my appointment. It was about 1/3 of the way through the bottle my brain started receiving the signal from my bladder saying, “Hey there! Just wanted to let you know things are getting a little full down here.” I decided to slow down a little bit and casually took a few sips here and there. I had to leave by 1:45pm to arrive at the clinic by 2:15pm since it said in my instructions to arrive 15 minutes early. I wanted to make sure I had all of the water consumed by the time I arrived so I made a plan. Since I knew I would be taking multiple highways to get from one side of Kansas City to the other, every time I took an exit, I would take a drink. Since I had little over half of the bottle left, I knew I would be done by the time I arrived.
My bladder gave me the ol’ Bill Lumbergh
First exit, drink. Second exit, gulp. Alright, I’m doing okay. I can do this. Third, exit….another swig. Goodness, this is a lot of water. Suddenly, I hit a bump in the road and my bladder responds….”Uh, hey lady, if we could stop the jiggling, that would be great.” Fourth exit, slurp. I’m pretty sure I can hear sloshing at this point. I realize I’m coming up on my final exit and decide to chug the rest to get it out of the way. I park and get out of my car. Slosh slosh. Okay, definitely can hear sloshing. With each step I take, it is like I can feel my bladder filling to its maximum capacity.
I go to the front desk, check in and sit down on the couch in the lobby. Gently. You know that feeling as a kid, on a family road-trip or a long car ride and you’ve had to pee for the last 10 miles but the person driving refuses to stop until they get to “such-and-such town’? Yeah, that’s about where I am at. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat and my leg is shaking for what I can only sense is a way for my bladder to shake it’s finger at me for waiting this long. It’s now 2:25pm. I’m trying to distract myself with magazines. Both legs are bouncing now. I start to watch TV hoping it would be a better distraction. It’s the Food Network and they are making cupcakes. Well that’s cute. They are decorated like super heroes. A nurse coming to get me would totally make them my super hero right now. It’s now 2:35pm. Okay, they are running a little late. That is to be expected in a doctor’s office in the afternoon, right? I’m now rocking back and forth in tiny little motions trying not to be fully obvious that I’m struggling. However, I’m sure the receptionist has seen many “Pee Shuffles” before.
About 2:45pm, the door connecting the lobby and what would soon be my “relief area” opens. I swear I heard a choir of angels singing. “Jackie?” Yes, yes YES! Dear God, YES! I pop out of my seat and quickly walk…er..shuffle, towards her. “I was going to ask how you are doing, but I think I can tell.” She walks me back to a room where she tells me to undress from the waist down and to wrap myself in the sheet (if we want to give it that much credit) and she would come get me to go to the ultrasound room next door. I find myself giving my body a stern talking to. Listen here, I’m undressing for the exam. We are not, I repeat, NOT in the bathroom. Do not get any ideas and do not embarrass me. I look at the bed, decide not to sit and remain standing out of fear of what may happen with any unnecessary movement. A few minutes pass which seems like an eternity and I hear the much-awaited knock on the door. I scoot towards her and the room while holding my fashionable new skirt. Suddenly, in my head I hear the voice of Tim Gunn tell me to “make it work!”
Not now, Tim!
She apologizes for everything running behind and tells me I can have a seat on the bed. “Let’s get everything ready so the sooner you are done the sooner you can go to the…” Oh please don’t say the “b” word. “…bathroom.” She said it. UGH! “Let me go see where the doctor is and hopefully she will be in shortly.” Shortly? Not just a few minutes?? I know what shortly means in doctor’s office speak!
At this point my bladder has given me a certain finger and I’ll give you a hint, it’s not a thumbs up. “MAYDAY MAYDAY! Open the flood gates, there is a leak in the dam!!!” I’m rocking back and forth side to side and not in small motions anymore. Squirming, laying back, leaning forward, trying to do anything and everything to relieve pressure. Alright, I’m not going to make it. I need to start thinking of ways to apologize for urinating on the floor and all over their exam room. They are never going to want me back here. I’m going to be forever known as “Pee Girl”. I start doing weird mind tricks like making my feet go in opposite circles while I twist my hands the opposite way at the same time. Maybe I should pat my head and rub my belly? No. No bad idea.
Finally, at 3:03pm my glorious doctor walks in. I have never been so happy to see a doctor. They get me in place and do a quick ultrasound to check everything, including my very very angry bladder. There it was. A big circle, nothing else. “Well.” says the doctor. Pushing around, I feel like I might explode. “Your bladder is full. A little too full. It’s so full I can’t see anything else. I guess you could say it’s photobombing your ultrasound!” Can’t laugh. Gotta pee! Here’s the ironic part, allowing me to go to the bathroom would get rid of everything so instead I got a catheter anyways! Oh joy. They drain enough and I feel some much needed relief.
To spare you more details, the tests went great and much easier than last time even with my retroverted uterus (it tilts backwards). I have no polyps, fibroids, cysts, and no blockages!! They also did my Antral Follicle Count to find out what my baseline number is and I have 10 on my left and 14 on my right which is more than I had last time! This is all great news! Even better? After my trial transfer, they let me go to the bathroom! I’ll spare you the details of this as well but I’ll just say it will probably go down as one of the top 3 bathroom visits of my life.
I also received my AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) levels today and they are 2.9! It couldn’t be anymore perfect on the range it should be on. Too low and it could mean I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve and low number of eggs. Too high and it could mean PCOS and low quality eggs. It’s right in the middle. This means all of my lab work and tests show normal fertility and my PCOS is at bay. If it wasn’t for me being diagnosed with Endometriosis, you wouldn’t know I had infertility. It is nice to feel like the last 6 months of supplements and vitamins weren’t all for nothing!
My next appointment is Wednesday where they will do more lab work and another ultrasound (luckily no full bladder needed) to make sure I’m suppressed. Then hopefully, Friday we will start injections.
But first, excuse me while I visit the ladies room. Something I will no longer take for granted.
Until next time,