Never Say Never…

 

Well, hello there. It’s been a little bit. Did you forget about me? I took a hiatus from blogging so I could focus on spending as much time as possible with our munchkin and live in the moment with my family. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, after all it’s been almost two years, so get comfy. This is gonna be a long one.

I can’t believe it’s been that long, it feels like I’ve only blinked. Let’s see. We moved to a new house, Hubby and I both have changed jobs, training at said new jobs and working crazy schedules including my night shift hours, and through it all, we are busy keeping up with the busy life of a teenage girl and a crazy little girl who is full of non-stop energy.

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The sweet part of the Sour Patch Kid

I’m loving this age where Nora’s personality has really began to blossom. Even though that often means a lot more sass as of lately, she does the funniest things and she knows it and plays it up. I call her my Sour Patch Kid. One minute she may be screaming “NO!” at you and then hugging and kissing you the next. Almost every doctors appointment shes in the top 15 percentile on all accounts. She’s off the charts when it comes to language and talking, knowing well over 100 words and phrases. (By far my favorite sentence she says right now is “I love you too, Mommy.”)

 

Just like my pregnancy, a lot of things I had in mind we were going to do, she revealed she had plans of her own. We learned after a few months of breastfeeding she had a cow protein allergy that was causing her terrible reflux issues so we began using a hypoallergenic formula. She began sleeping through the night in her own crib at 4 months. My “baby blues” quickly turned into diagnosed Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. We tried sign language and it was quickly apparent she’d rather just talk. I had in mind I was going to be making homemade baby food when she started eating solids at 6 month. (Silly first time mommy.) We ended up taking more of a Baby Led Weaning approach because she wanted all the foods and wanted them now. We still have not found one thing she doesn’t like! When I was worried she wasn’t walking by her first birthday, a week or two later she was running. I thought we’d start potty training around her second birthday but a few weeks ago, she randomly started wanting to use potties and actually began using them! So that’s now moved up in the agenda. If anything, I should have known from the beginning I was just along for the ride. Just when I think we’ve figured one thing out, we come across something new to handle. There’s never a dull moment for sure. So it’s no surprise that two weeks before Christmas, we were thrown the ultimate curve ball.

If you’ve followed my blog, you may recall the post I shared when I received my infertility diagnosis. (If not, you can check it out HERE) Basically, we were told we could NEVER get pregnant on our own. Getting pregnant without medical intervention, would NEVER be a possibility. Between my thyroid issues, Stage 4 Endo and PCOS, I had the trifecta of infertility. Hence, our previous IVF journey.

Fast forward to this past fall. I had began to have the same familiar pains I experienced when I found out I had Endometriosis. I had always known it would be a possibility for symptoms to return after pregnancy and chalked it up to that. Along with the intermittent pain, Endo can also totally mess up your cycle, Again, all familiar territory. In December, I remember thinking I was late but didn’t really know how late so I did the whole, “Okay. If I haven’t started by _____day. I’ll call the doctor or take a pregnancy test” Those days would pass and I kept pushing it to the next day and the next day. I just knew if I took a test, I would start right after and I would have wasted that $12 on a test I didn’t need. Been there done that, like 100 times. So more days passed until one Saturday. I was off for the weekend and excited to have time with Hubby and Munchkin. However, I thought I was still feeling the remnants of the stomach bug that had hit our household two weeks prior. I had also been super tired but just attributed it to working night shift and trying to balance that with life with a toddler.

So, I got up and tried to start my day and make some breakfast. Hubby was getting ready and I went to brush my teeth. Almost immediately, I gagged. Hmmm, weird. Tried again, gag gag gag. Well, that’s not normal… the last time that happened was when I was…..I immediately looked at him and said, “Uh, I think I need to go to the store. I need to get a pregnancy test.”

I ran up to the store, got the goods and quickly came home and immediately took the test. Hubby came to the bathroom shortly after I finished and I remember saying “Okay, we have 2 minutes until…” I peeked down at the test. One dark line. I looked up at him and looked back down.

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What the heckin’ heck?!

Two lines. Instantly. I’m sorry, what?! What I hadn’t realized is the dark line was the positive line. It showed before the control even did and was twice as dark. I think I blanked out at this moment. I showed Hubby so he could see what I was seeing and I remember saying “Welp, there’s no denying that, I guess”.

 

We literally just stared at each other. (May have said a few choice words) Utter shock set in. What the heck just happened?? What was my reaction supposed to be?? I had so many emotions happening, all at once. The only other time I saw two lines as a complete surprise and unplanned, it didn’t end well. I was scared, shocked, happy, shocked, confused, shocked. (I think you get the point.) After a joke about vasectomies and listening to a crazy toddler running around screaming, all I could think and say was “Oh my gosh, there’s going to be two of those. TWO tiny people in this house. At least we make cute kids?” I honestly didn’t know what else to say. Again, not part of the so-called “plan” we had. Nora was it. We’d have K and her and that was all. We didn’t need anymore kiddos, our family was perfect and complete. And then apparently God laughed and said “That’s what you think.”

That following Monday I called the doctor’s office. I told them I had no clue how far along I would be. I didn’t track anything, hadn’t planned for anything, I just knew those two pink lines were there and our lives were going to change. I had to wait two weeks to get in because of the holidays before we would know more. We decided until we knew more details we wouldn’t say anything to anyone. Gosh, that was so hard. Especially all through Christmas, I was miserable. I was so sick. Everyday. All day. Trying to hide that from family, my own mother, was almost impossible.

I went to my appointment the morning of December 31st and the doctor asked me how things had been, he even asked about Nora and how that was going. We narrowed it down that I was somewhere between 8 weeks and 13 weeks. We tried to find the heartbeat and didn’t and he said I may just not be as far along as we think. He sent me to have an ultrasound done later that afternoon.

It worked perfect because it was right when Hubby got off work so he was able to go with me. We get called into the room and start the ultrasound and sure enough, there it was. A little gummy bear figure dancing around on the screen with a heartbeat. It was then I think it finally hit me. Okay, this is really happening. I’m pregnant. We determined I was 8 weeks and our due date would be early August. Hubby was relieved there was only one little gummy bear and that I was only 8 weeks so that, in his words, “we had another month to prepare”. (I think we have used that extra month to just process it mentally)50902100_10101134903826060_5939587217977507840_n

So here we are. Pregnant. Naturally. I’m now 13 weeks along and still processing it all. We already have a few challenges we’re facing and I’m still considered high risk because of the complications with my last pregnancy. The doctor already tested me for Gestational Diabetes since we basically knew I’d have it again and I do. I’m glad we figured that out now so I can get a handle on it early. Also, because we found this out this early on, I’ll also be monitored by a Maternal-Fetal Medicine doctor. The chances of me having Cholestasis again are also high but we will monitor that as we go and cross that bridge if we come to it. Unless the stars align just right, they may have me deliver as early as July 20th.

We will find out the gender, hopefully, at the end of this month which will help the planner in me start figuring out how this is all going to work. What we need, since we just gave everything baby-related away a few months ago. Most importantly, how on earth we’re going to fit another human being in our 3 bedroom house and most importantly our lives. I can only laugh because I had always said I never wanted my third trimester to be during the summer and if I was ever going to have two I wanted them at least 3 or 4 years apart. Again, cue God laughing somewhere.

Nora currently refers to the baby as “Baby Button” and points to my belly button. I’m almost sure she thinks that’s where it is. I asked if she wanted a brother or sister, her reply? “Nugget.” Well, a chicken nugget would have been a lot easier. Nice try. K wants a girl because she says she has enough brothers with the two at her mom’s house. Hubby wants a girl because he says he doesn’t want payback for what he was like as a kid. A girl in my mind would be easier simply for what we currently have and the room sharing situation but what I really want is just a healthy baby.

To see how we told our parents our news CLICK HERE

We can wish all we want for what we want but if we haven’t learned anything by now, we know God has a sense of humor and He is really good at reminding us He is in control.

I have also learned one more thing.

Never say never….

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